Pavlov's dog & the “New Pearl Harbor”

    I’m worried that the pavlov’s-doggism — ‘beat the 9/11, “New-Pearl-Harbor fear-drum’ and we’ll roll over for more narrowing of rights and stupid foreign wars and $14,000 a minute being spent on the fantasy Missile Nonsense — is wearing off in the citizenry. We aren’t drooling on cue and wagging our tails in time to the Star-Spangled Banner. The ied’s red glare and the rocket-propelled grenades bursting in air are smelling a tad too acrid for us to ignore even tho we aren’t allowed to view the star-spangled-banner-draped coffins forever silent of song.
     The “New Pearl Harbor” vaccination of fear is wearing off; I dread they will think we require a booster-dose in the ides of July or of August. Before or after the Supreme Court confirmation fight? What’s your guesstimate?

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copyright pogblog 2005
“New Pearl Harbor” — see David Ray Griffin, about whom more anon.
fff
   

The Woman Who Stares At GeorgeBush Instead of At Goats

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The Woman Who Stares at GeorgeBush Instead Of At Goats .. A Radical Pacifist’s State of the Union address <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />. . . ToadSpawn Ch 7

 

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /> 

    There is actually (reality, actuality; matter of fact, sober reality; truth &c; stubborn fact, hard fact; not a dream &c; no joke; be the case; occur &c; extant; afloat, afoot, prevalent; undestroyed; indeed; ipso facto) a military occult cadre in America who are paid by us taxpayers to stare at goats with intent to kill.¹  A very occult project this, so secret in fact that you might say it’s oc:oc:occult. The rest of this report is both interpretative and factual, but this basic staring-at-goats-gig fact exists on the Planet you walk on and upon which you eat your Cheerios. Tremble and be afraid, very afraid – you’re paying for these people, and they are loose.

    You are paying them enough to play golf more than once a week at Pebble Beach ($700 per round, not counting tipping the caddy), the most beautifullest golf course on the planet, teal-colored ocean views; white pelicans skimming the combers; velvety Bermuda-grass greens with duffer-flattering pin-placements; scrotum-tightening pleasure oiled in reminiscence by much Jack Daniels, a real guy’s drink. A real guy who spends his time when he’s not golfing or servicing the trophy wife staring at goats with intent to kill.

    Now, the goats’ friendly bleats have been surgically excised because it’s hard to concentrate on the glaring-to-murder a goat cheerfully bleating for a scratch behind the ears or a nice handful of molassesy grain (which the goats who aren’t reaped by the grim gazes are given by their sweet Keepers at night.)

    How bizarre the goats must find our species – they get death stares for 8 hours (It’s a job for the humans) while they mill, baffled, bleating earnest silence. Then at 5pm, the Starers put their uniform jackets (made in China) back on and button up the brassette buttons. At which point the tender and fondling and sweet-whispering Tenders arrive to whisk away the corpses and to give the remaining goats honeyed grain and alfalfa hay and cool cool water. What could a goat philosopher make of it all?

    I don’t decry psychic powers – I have quite a few of my own.

    But, dear reader, it never occurred to me not once to just stare at the Lizard-in-Chief, Mr. Bush, until – until boils do us part. Yeah, friend, as many eyes and teeth as George owes for, I just can’t do death. But if boils is good enough for God to job Job with, they’re good enough for me to do unto George. Amen and hallelujah, brother.

     I wish there was a Boils R Us store nearby so I wouldn’t have to work so hard at this boils thing. On my groaning plate, I’ve already got daily praying for The Rapture to occur – win-win, they’re happy to go, I’m happy they’re gone, hip hip hullabaloo. (My friend, Fuerta, says pilots should have to sign a sworn statement that they are not Rapture-Ready – suddenly pilotless² planes are a clear hazard.) Adding this boils-staring voodoo at our Scaly Leader is gonna seriously cut into my sloth, snack, and siesta time.

   Now, I only need two more of you with boils-erupting baleful gazes to join up so we can triangulate Mr. Bush with boils-wielding ridicule, BWR – if you ain’t got an acronym, what kind of weapons system are you really? FMD, for instance, Fantasy Missile Defense at $14,000 per minute. Now there’s a truly ridiculous notion that no one is sufficiently squawking about. How can citizens of a sane nation allow $14,000 per minute to be spent on a Fantasy Missile so-called Defense while we are paying fellow citizens $5.15 per hour, $206 a week – you live on that, pilgrim.

     I remember the supercilious William Buckley on Larry King a decade ago intoning in his inimitable pontifical mannered manner, “Wull, Larry, you ask that [African, Indonesian; Peruvian; Alabamian] peasant if they wouldn’t rather have that 35¢ an hour?” Wull, yes, Bill, while you’re silver-forking down your lobster thermidor — over nothing, the pesky starving will choose 35¢ an hour. But that’s the wrong question, Bill baby. The question is how would you like 35¢ an hour? That’s how you sort the ‘we are all humans of equal worth’ equation; that’s the ethical calculus – prince and pauper – I would trade places with you right now. I have sufficient courage of my pompously pontificated convictions that I, William F. Buckley Jr, would trade places with you right now. Justice is blindfolded and can’t tell you from this happy happy poor person reveling in the 35¢ an hour you’re so magnanimously offering, no doubt with a daily watermelon bonus and a free turkey at Christmas. The Knights of Ridicule can set a basic Boils Team on you too, Bill.

    My Martian philosopher-journalist friend, DanGero, from the South Mars Gazette, a cosblog linked to pogblog, said his 20 years in a human suit observing homo notso sapiens undercover was an assignment of hadal delight and of a five recent years revulsion so shuddering that Martian oneiro-shamans feared for his recovery of equilibrium and equanimity.

     “Part of your species is pleasant, even jolly, fun, quite generous. The 12ftTall Lizards Disguised as Human Beings Who Purport to Lead You are so empathy- and agog-impaired that my Martian friends who’ve never visited your Planet have voted for a 100% Quarantine of your planet’s sentient effluvium from cosmic councils; cosmic trade routes; from cosmic museums; cosmic libraries, the whole Big Shebang.

    “’How can they treat their fellow conscious beings so scummily?’ ask my Martian friends.

    “On Mars we have an ancient story of a unicorn whose hide is the shimmering colors of the rainbow. Where our unicorn passes, there is music in the air. And where her golden hooves fall, the grasses are not bruised.

   “It is with musical gentleness we are asked to treat our fellow creatures. The best way I could translate it perhaps for you Earthlings is Music unto others as you would have them music unto you.

   “On Mars we hear all the songs —  the stone’s song, the butterfly’s minuet, the sonnet of your soul. On Mars, your worth is weighed in the number of jokes you’ve invented.

    “We are not aura-blind as most of you Earthlings are. We see or grok the aurora borealis of your being as it plays its concertos of actions and reactions, its woven songs. We love the ambush of practical jokes and the fierce dueling of satires.

      “Your very real harshness to one another, however, your deafness to the other’s life song are so alien to us that most of us did ratify the Quarantine.”         

    When I look at DanGero, I hear him mostly in the tangerines and hyacinths of his liliacly lyrical soul. He’s helped train me to stare boils at GeorgeBush whose putative leadership sounds all static behind the clichéd bombast. “We are bewildered,” DanGero said, “by your exploitative hierarchies anyhow, but that you would allow someone to domineer you so unmusically is sick and senseless to us.

    “Advanced worlds in the cosmos no longer require ethical laws, we have aesthetic laws. We weigh and measure actions and value in units of comedy. That’s why I gave you that necklace with the silver dogtag with carpe comedy stamped on it, as a token, as a reminder of your Martian blood, pog, that you are steeped in comedy and songfulness.”

   My exile to Earth, my exile from song and mirth to deaf Earth had been part of the last desperate Expedition of the Healers Guild, the Clowns, to find a cure for GAC, the Greed and Creed soul-crippling condition, the epidemic of which had swept sweet Earth for 2000 years of arid desolation.

   In his latest visit DanGero had told me that since I had foolishly fallen so somersault and devil dance with an Earthling, I could never risk bringing the possible contamination  home again to the planet we do not call Mars, but Bylar, To Dance. That permanent exile from the laughing apple-sweet rivers of my home is, dear reader, a dazzling and damned story for another fire-light flickered night. Is what you dimly call love, the insane rage, the filigree of mad mirth he and I pitilessly feel with each other worth that exile? Filigreeis a dainty web of precious metal, an haunting elf song wrought into a tiny token, a lace of metal, a braille grail jewelry you could feel in the dark, that dark where all souls journey implacably alone sometimes, at times arranged by Fate’s deranged whim – that filigree to remind me in that doomed silence which may or may not end of our dread mirth which we dared, holding only each other’s hand over the uncalculatable abyss. So is it worth it, Digrif, my friend in obsidian mirth, my cruel ironist, this exile for which I paid my whole soul? Timelessness will tell.

    So back to the goats whose plaintive and silent bleats remind us we’re in a surkafka land where people will actually spend $14000 per minute on a Fantasy Missile Defense system when they could fund universal health care for their fellow citizens in the beloved community with those same funds, as an example.

   BWR. Boils-Wielding-Ridicule. Frankly, of course I would prefer long, slow skewered rotisserie over hell-fires death for the maggots-for-brains ghouls who rule us, but I have evolved in civilized past the mutilations-by-proxy which keeps them in the ‘excruciating bone-splintering pain to other people’s children’ business that they practice with lurid violence behind the veil of patriotic songs and tinnily noble sentiments which bring back no dead child’s laughter.

    So on the 4th of July 2005, The Woman Who Stares At GeorgeBush Instead Of At Goats begins her BWR, Boils-Wielding Ridicule campaign. The end of Mr. Bush’s pinocchioing nose is the bulls-eye prize target. If just two of you can join me, we can triangulate and cast our blessedly mumbo jumbo voodoo boils spells upon his lying nose, the Lizard-in-Chief who will not offer up his own children to the Worthy Cause.

      “Yankee doodle, stare it up/Yankee doodle dandy/Mind the music and the step/And with the stares be handy.”   

 

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¹I wanted to write this report before I treated myself to reading Jon Ronson’s The Men Who Stare At Goats. I saw him on CSpan a while back and he spoke of the stranger bubbles we can slide into and of the 12ft Lizards that one guy was convinced ruled the world. I had been on this Reptile angle for years and this seemed a nifty ratification in neon of the theme. I didn’t want to read the book until I wrote The Woman Who Stares At GeorgeBush so as to have free rein to channel that idea without fear of imitation. Jon Ronson did tell us that the goats’ bleats were removed. Mr. Ronson has no association with or responsibility for even a gnat’s eyelash of my version of things. I’ll do you all up a review when I read the book.

 

²For those three people in America unfamiliar with The Coming Rapture – the Gist of it is that all the people who Truly Take Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior are going to be Raptured Up en masse into Heaven in their actual bodies, leaving the rest of us infidels to brimstonily stew in our own sulphurous juices down here. I can’t recall whether Trumpets Sound as The Rapture begins, but I’m pretty sure that the Heavens open. This Divine Hoovering is imminent, any day or year now. Thus planes being piloted by Born-Again pilots will suddenly be pilotless, cars driverless, trains will have empty locomotives. //There is doctrinal uncertainty about whether one’s teeshirt from Target or for the better-heeled Believer, one’s crisply-ironed, medium-starch blue shirt from Brooks Brothers will be Raptured Up with one? Likewise dental fillings? Should one dress for Rapture every day? I have no answers to these questions because believe me *I* a.m. g.o.i.n.g.  t.o. b.e. left behind. Not only do I not take JC as my personal savior, I distinctly and specifically reject the lad. Boy, when I was 32 years old, I thought I knew it all too. But I’ll never have Mel to make a Passion of Pogblog and pour bucket’s o’ blood over me. I never actually used the word prayer before because me ‘n the multi-verse(many-poem place) are pretty tight as these things go, but I have taken to praying that The Rapture will come asap so they can go and we can be left behind to get about making it a fairer and jollier world without all the tedious preachy nastiness. The Shortest Book on Earth is Jokes in the Bible. (By the way, I’ll reiterate that I could care less what comforting hallucination anyone indulges in if they don’t force it and its consequences down the throat of others. That’s what’s got me riled.)

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If you know an agent, editor, publisher person who would handle this kind of rage for justice, rage for peace material, please let me know at .. pogblog@yahoo.com

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Check pogblog’s Glossary for brave & nefarious words.

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Squawk & re-Squawk

Squawk & re-Squawk

  
    We must squawk. Now.

    I realize the dread and pity a doctor must feel when she looks at the x-ray on the light-box and the grainy gray shadows are undeniable, big, and in the wrong places.

    Our beloved <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />America is sick, friends. Very sick. If we unsqueamishly look at the x-ray of the American heart, of the American soul, we can see the shriveling heart, we can see the broken soul, the swollen pride, the emergency about-to-burst self-righteousness whose seeping toxic pus is fatally poisoning our unsweet, uncivil, unwise interactions with the rest of our planet family.

    We need radical, emergency action, citizens, beloved fellow journeyers. The radiant planet we could, we should share with glee and with mutuality of art and with ablazing heart is in peril. And we are each a voice in its healing. Denial is the sickness. That those who can still see, shrug, is the sickness. That in your secret heart, that in your dawn conversation with yourself, you are saying, “What can my one squawk matter? I would feel vulnerable, exposed, absurd. What can my one squawk matter anyway?” and you pour the comforting sugar-coated Frosted Flakes into your breakfast bowl and shrug.

    What happens when it is your own country (a false & fading label) which is the addict in tragic denial? It is time. It is time for an intervention, a cool-headed, warm-hearted intervention. No more shrugging – squawking now. Small, persistent squawks. Today, your first deliberate act of squawk. At the water cooler, at the café, the bar; at lunch; hanging out at a colleague’s cube; finally e-scribbling the 176-word letter to the editor which has been drifting through your mind.

    It is not the size of your first squawk, citizen friend, it is that it is deliberate. Move one small step outside your familiar zone, your comfort zone. Squawk to someone different. Squawk differently to someone familiar. It is the intent not the content which will change, will challenge the zeitgeist, the world pattern, the planetary psychic mosaic. Light up your little tile. It will add up. It will add up to illumination soon.

    Squawk mildly if that’s your style. Squawk raucously if you prefer. What is eloquent is your intent. If you are saying, “By golly, I’m squawking!” to yourself, you got it.

    Back when, an astronaut was asked, “Tell us about looking back at the planet Earth from space!” The astronaut  paused and spoke, a calm and radical squawk (astronauts are calm), the most radical observation of the 20th century, the most radical observation in the history of the planet, “When I looked back at our home, when I looked back at planet Earth – what struck me when I looked back at Earth is that there aren’t any lines on it.”

      No sentence turned my inner kaleidoscope, no sentence changed my own life more. “There aren’t any lines on it.” Of course! First there had been the stunning, heartbreaking photograph of the whole wondrous fragile planet suspended in immense space, the shocking heart-stopping gasp of the moment when many of us broke out of the cocoon and became planetary. It was the most important single photograph ever taken.

   But ‘there aren’t any lines on it’ is vertiginously radical. Families, tribes, nations, creeds – we have so internalized the arbitrary lines, the imaginary borders outside of which or inside of which you can arbitrarily be placed — that we have actually instead of, say, taking care of each other, (e.g. planetary health care), taken our common treasure, our brow-sweat common wealth and built teeming and crescendoing weapon systems to mutilate each other. Instead of training soldiers of healing armed with syringes of polio vaccine, mosquito nets, and M-32 shovels to dig wells for clean water, instead we spend millions upon millions (one billion equals a thousand million) training energetic and idealistic young men to be soldiers of death-and-mutilation dealing. And those who would squawk out allow themselves to be cowed by those afflicted by virulent patriotism, a disease of curable blindness, of curable deafness.

   The strident and belligerent theo-fascism of church, state, and corporations is in its last ugly throes. The chest-thumping patriarchal, hierarchical, to-win-there-must-be-a-loser, exploitative, model’s days are numbered. Most of our planet-sharing fellows have already got it, grokked it, or are on the cusp of that eureka. ‘Where is America?’ they look back concernedly and ask. America who dared the first ablazing step to be born into the pearlescent dawn of the first democracy, that giddy glimpse of  justice and equality. Where is America now as we dare the step into the dawn of the 2nd democracy that includes all citizens of the planet?

    Earth is the mother of each of us, Earth is the mother of our mothers – we are all one family. The invisible lines we so trumpeted, for which we despised, for which we killed – oh ye gods, there is blood on our hands, there is blood on all our hands, pilgrim – the invisible lines drawn on parchment, on paper, in blood do not appear running through the forests, over the deserts in photographs. The one planet, the same planet, the great ship, Home, bears us all, snug, in the vast galactic sea. Home, the planet is home to us all.

   Do squawk and re-squawk. For the sake of  your, of our darling Home. A squawk a day. America can be healed, and can contribute humbly and mightily to the care of Home. After the first gawky squawk, it gets easier.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /> 

xxxxxx

07.08.05

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for jamie fuller

 

    

HardBias? letter to Chris Matthews

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June 20, 2005

Dear Mr. Matthews,

  Every time I  tuned in to what I am now compelled to call HardBias after Mr.Bush's tepid (quaaludy, I thought) speech about the “Vietnamization” of Iraq, I went from distressed to appalled to see these photogenic young blonde women waxing adorable about how happy and proud their brave husbands were to be helping the Iraqi people.

   This is journalism? Had this episode of SoftBall been scripted by Karlsputin Rove and paid for by what used to be called CREEP in the old days, I would not have been surprised. That it was hosted by the edgy writer of the real and original book HardBall, that it was presented as journalism — talk about shilling, 'product placement' and selling out — I am still agog.

     John Kennedy was shot on my 19th birthday — there is no amount of money or access they could pay me to make me take a dive like that 'town meeting.'

    I have a Gold-Star-parent friend who knows what side the bullet hit her only son's head before it exploded into a bloody confetti of brains because they sent her his twisted glasses back — she could and would have told you a less cottoncandy story.

    You must remember the exact same words for the hideously failed 'Vietnamization' quagmire policy? “Stand up Iraqis and we can stand down Americans.” Deja entendu — I already heard this turkey — if it gobbles like a turkey, it's probably a turkey. Iraqisization. Hello. Remember? I heard not one single commentator utter the term “Vietnamization — Huge Stupid Failure.” 

     I know you're under intense corporate pressure, but I never dreamed you would capitulate this profoundly. I remember you when you were spunky, were cool, were a vertebrate.

 

In sorrow,

pogblog

pogblog@yahoo.com

http://pogblog.myblogsite.com

ps. I'd share my full name etc under a Blog Throat arrangement, but the stuff I'm writing on pogblog is less polite and formal than this — flaying comes to mind — and I want to live another day to scorch the 12ftTall Lizards Disguised as Human Beings who purport to Lead us.

 

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email your own letter to hardball@msnbc.com <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /> 

 

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Simple Exit Strategy .. Iraq

    Simple Iraq Exit Strategy

 

   There is a very Simple Exit Strategy for Raq. Each of the 535 members of Congress will designate one son or daughter or grandson or granddaughter or nephew or niece to be deployed asap to the theater of war in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Iraq.

     Also Mr. Bush’s Choice — either Jen or Barbara. Also a child from Mr. Rove; Mr. Cheney; Mr. Rumsfeld; Ms. Rice, et al in the hierarchy of True Believers who shed no sweat, least of all blood.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /> 

I predict that an Exit Strategy will be whipped up in a month.

 

     I remember when Michael Fay, my first husband, died. Not in war. But at 29 years old. I can still hear my scream when I got the phone call. A scream that should have shattered Heaven but which he could never hear.

 

Is it really worth all these kids, George? Send yours then.

 

I predict that an Exit Strategy would be whipped up in a month.   

 

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06.29.05  01:17:47a.pdt.us 2 Rabbit . Lamat  tzol 28  tueswed

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guest post: 1st Amendment Abridged by Scorn & Intimidation

guest post on pogblog:   

 

   The previously self-evident American precious-idea that All citizens are created Equal took a distressing hit in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Palo Alto CA on Saturday night, June 25, 2005. As a person who has protested for peace and for economic justice for 40 years – since John Kennedy was assassinated on my 19th birthday I suppose — I was desolate at the sudden slide towards totalityranny that I experienced in those Palo Alto streets where once liberty shone.

    As a chubby ex-English teacher carrying a Teach Peace sign, I think I am not an inherently threatening figure. Around the edges of a full-time job, I have carried that now very-dog-eared sign around the Peninsula daily for nearly 1000 days since October 2002.  There have been several adventures in free speech and the right to the public-square-equivalent protected in 1980’s Pruneyard (our own backyard in Campbell) Supreme Court decision.

    But the police presence in downtown Palo Alto had to be experienced to be believed. I know and deplore that there was some minor mayhem in a May rally, but the law enforcement community who have always difficult and often dangerous jobs have changed materially from my experience over all these years. I was not treated as an equal citizen whose reasonable exercise of first amendment rights should be actively protected by law enforcement in America – even hated speech must be honored actively in fact.

     It was clear that the officers were intensely edgy and fearful with no provocation. I was shouted at repeatedly not as a fellow citizen, but with derision, “Go home and smoke some more dope” (by a senior officer). I whose tag line to my students for a lifetime has been “My drug of choice is air.” There was no respect or presumption that I was a profoundly patriotic American citizen endowed with inalienable rights. I was treated as if I were possibly criminal and certainly stupid. That instead of being proud to be serving the public with benign strength in a country where the light in the torch of the Statue of Liberty itself is the light of free speech, many of the police were clearly contemptuous of the assembled citizens. I was personally battered by scorn.

    If free speech, that endangered species, were not at stake, it might have been all-but-comically sursurreal (sic) to see hundreds of police persons in a riot gear that paled the overwrought imaginations of Vader’s Storm Troopers themselves to keep a few hundreds of folk in order. But the full black head-to-toe exoskeleton riot gear with three-foot long truncheons, huge black guns, and no names only numbers was chilling. The infamous black helicopter circled ominously and endlessly overhead saying, “By the order of [a long list of Law Agencies], this had been declared an unlawful assembly. Disperse or you will be subject to arrest.”

    I heard one well-appointed man shout to a middle-aged protester, “Get a life,” as if free speech were for bums, not the highest expression of responsible, heart-wrenchingly concerned citizenship. This prosperous citizen went from froth to slaver, spewing invective with spit, at which point a perspicacious bystander, one of the putative ne’er-do-wells, said mildly, “Sir, sir, please take your meds.” Later, one well-groomed older women said haughtily, “Why are these [unwashed] people wasting our time? This is a terrible waste of police resources.” A gentle protester said back, “Protecting free speech seems a bargain, ma’am. One might better complain that we’re spending $14,000 a minute 24/7/365 on a fantasy Missile Defense system which I could sell to the same people who want to buy the Brooklyn Bridge.”

    The whole event on behalf of the police felt like an overdose of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, but treating your fellow citizens, whom I presume the police are sworn to guard, as if they are enemies and low-life agitators is a sad business in America. It was not just the lack of respect for the event and its participants who were slightly rowdy at worst, but the hostile presumption of some kind of inchoate guilt that misses the point of the first amendment which must not be abridged by scorn or intimidation. 

 

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guest post .. Teach Throat

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06-26-05 

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in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />York, England!!!!

First pogblog poster across the Pond!

Cedral wins!

on 06.24.05, a big day in pogstory.

Thank you, cedral755. Cheerio igualmente.

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You too can join the pogblog poster global-Game- CONTEST. (see below.)

    Hullabaloo! Hip, hip, Cedral rocks. Cedral755, we are SO proud and somersaulting. To have the first pogblog poster out there is distinctly full clive and not one smidgen of clintified. Cedral gets a prize. The third commentator- generated pogblog Glossary entry

     86.66% of Glossary entries are from the ongoing tempestuous rambunction with Digrif. Chancelucky just Goaaaled with the reagan’s Law moniker for the Child Mutilator Registry. And for cedral755, clint. It ain’t pretty, but it iz. Go visit it in pogblog's Glossary too.

 

clint; clinting; clintful; clintness .. My thoughts about “Clint” have previously been unprintable because I was one of the unfortunate thousands who saw that denture film-noir, Bridges of Madison County,  a penance for some unknowable wrong. This wretched film in which Meryl Streep did star shows you can do a silk-purse turn in a pig's-ear flick. ¶ At least as comiko-horror films go, the shots of Clint in the bathtub with his crêpy neck wattles are memorable if only one were into gigadizzguzzt. Not because he was old and horrible (gee, we all will be & will want to have been kinder), but because of his ineffable, upwelling-of-stench clintness — he whittles his lines. Wattles and whittling — what a treat. With the shower-stabbing scene in Psycho, we can induct the infamous Clint's-wattles scene into the Horror Scenes Hall of Fame. ¶ Usage: It was so clint, so skin-crawling to have to see Karlsputin Rove gumming up the phosphors on my tv screen. The overflow of sewage onto the street was clinting with the eerie glisten of mucal rot in an oily corruption attended by those paparazzi of insects, the dung-eating flies. (for cedral755 who planted the first pogblog poster across the Pond!) 6-25-05

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pogblog poster Global-Game-CONTEST: you can email pogblog@yahoo.com & we’ll send you the template for the small two-to-a-page pogblog ToadSpawn Be Gone! posters. Or make up your own. (Be cool.)

 

Send us a pict of pogblog poster in any place and you’ll win a PRIZE, and an automatic entry into My Own Custom Entry in pogblog’s Glossary – you pick the topic, pogblog writes the entry for YOU.

 

Wall Drug was this “mega-tourist trap” in South Dakota. It had signs for a hundred milesevery 200 feet saying “See the prairie dogs at Wall Drug.” The prairie dogs were mangy stuffed things, but as it was the only place to get a root beer in the hellsummer heat. You went to Wall Drug , or died. Wall Drug had this global sign game going for years and they even ended up with someone holding up a Wall Drug sign on Mount Everest. Pogblog wants Mount Everest too, but also Vermont and the Gobi desert or wherever you’re going. Pictures with cows get bonus points, as picts with giraffes or cats. Gehry’s museum in Bilbao gets, like, an entry in the Glossary AND in the Love Slave Hareem. Yo Yo Ma, Bela Fleck, or Clive Owen holding a pogblog poster, and well, gee.

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06-25-05  12:57:25a.pdt.us  11 Lizard . Kan . Dragon tzol 24 frisat

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“I Take My Stand With Satan Today” — Toad Spawn, Be Gone! Appendix L

Toad Spawn, Be Gone! the Exorcizm of GeorgeBush from America's Soul,  Appendix L

 

I Take My Stand With Satan Today

 

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6-24-05 12:38:25p.pdt.us 10 Hearth . Akbal . Night  tzolkin 23 fri 

Digrif mon chair, 

   I just read in the June 27, 2005 New Yorker p. 47 that these previously home-schooled students who enroll at Patrick Henry College, a feeder school for future 12ftTall Lizards Disguised as Human Beings Reptilian Party congressional interns and politicians of our “Christian Nation,” have to “sign a ten-part statement of faith, agreeing that, among other things Hell is a place where ‘all who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity.’”  

    At that exact mo-ment it was decided by Le Bleu et moi that my cat-friend, the Stunning-Rulerette-of-Milky-Way and Bealach na bó Finne (Way of White Cow/Irish) and Umthala(Zulu) and Marin Shimbireed (Way of the Bird/Somalia) and caer Arianrhod(Castle of the goddess Silver Wheel/Welsh) and Ngân-hà(Silver River/Vietnamese) – that my cat-friend’s nom de purr is Lucy Furr from henceforth. I take my stand with Lucy Furr and with Satan (<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />1:04:07p.pdt.us) now.

     'All who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity'? How do they come up with this stuff? Conscious torment? No naps?! They are going d.o.w.n. You heard it here first. Grenade Girl and Lucy Furr are ON the case!! I no longer breathe air; I breathe brimstone(S16/3206). Let's romper et rumbler! Both sides can play with this conscious-torment game. Conscious-torment this, ScalyOnes.

 

Friend Fuerta says I'm [dangerously] “messin’ with their denial structure, girl.” Yeah, I'm going after their deep denial structure, with weapons of cold irony, my favorite and only cher Ub. They shouldnae hae messed wi' me, Riffie, what was a lil ole Southin' gal like me to do? Pass the smelling salts.

 

Digrif, ami de ma vie, pour toujours et un jour,

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6-24-05 12:38:25p.pdt.us 10 Hearth . Akbal . Night  tzolkin 23 fri 

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The fugu of the Humor Transplant ..Toad Spawn Chapter 5

 

[To READ ALL of Toad Spawn Be Gone! Click on Toad Spawn Complete under Topics on Main Page.]

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ToadSpawn Be Gone! the Exorcizm of GeorgeBush from <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />America’s Soul

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /> 

Chapter 5 .. the fugu of the Humor Transplant

 

     Myrth said, “In ClownSchool InterD, we don’t just get to indulge in fugu. There is fugu discipline. Fugu is the expert filleting of the exceedingly poisonous Hypocrisy fish, especially those found in the Religious and Political Oceans of Hubris. Gods alone know that our keen tools and our only wyrd and terrible weapons – Be ye terrified ye 12ftTall Lizards Disguised as Human Beings – our wyrd and terrible weapons are words. It’s necessary and fun to kebab the 12ftTall Lizards. I love weapon-words third only to the silver cat and the feloniously handsome Fuller. But we need to turn sword-words into plowshare words after we’ve welcomed the unfanged and unblinded, reasonably cheerful and modest 12ftTall Lizards back into the gallivanting human family. We need to explore with you students of comedy how people live in the aprèsWar world.

     “First let’s remind ourselves of the three great Greek philosophic constellations of inquiry: metaphysics; epistemology; ethics. Metaphysics deals with what is real. Epistemology with how we know. And ethics with what is good. The epistemology, the how of thinking, being, seeing is a lot of what ClownSchool InterD is about.

    “What do you do when you’re not gnashing your teeth; not wasting obscene sums of money on megalomaniacal weapons systems like missile defense; and not lashing out at people who snog a Different Deity than you do?    

    “Sursurprisingly, there is a way to live fruitfully and passionately and cheerfully without waking up in the morning rarin’ to perfect more Schemes to mutilate children.

    “But first, the ClownSchool InterD psybio team works holoday round perfecting the Humor Transplant operation that deflates the crazy hubris of the 12ftTall Lizards to bring them back into genuinely empathetic human scale. The radical and aggressive treatment probably necessary for cheney viperiens extremos is emergency splenectomy. The metastasized spleen just has to be hacked out on the spot—at the bus stop (As if any of them would ever ride a bus!) or at the dinner party with the butter knife or at the humvee sales lot.

   “Hustle ‘em off to the ClownSchool ER and stick an Irony transfusion IV into the soft skin inside the crook of their left elbow (the one nearest their vestigial heart) and play Mozart, Yo Yo Ma, Bella Fleck, and Hui Ohana til you see them giddy with grin. For a Cheney or Rove equivalent, this treatment could take years.

     “For people in less acute stages of satanically septic Reptilianosis, a course of ironyotherapy treatments are critical to recovery. Severe religiopatriosis is, like stroke, an attack whose redemptive recovery is long term – you’re never cured, you’re always a religiopatrioholic in recovery. The high the 12ftTall Lizards get is so fauxEupho that you have to kiss your left little finger 8x a day at the very least to protect yourself from the toxic effects of the effluvius and supperating corruption.

   “ ‘What!?’” you 12ft Lizards cry in unbridled disbelief. ‘What?! kiss your left little finger 8x a day at the very least?’

    “ ‘What!?’ the clowns cry, ‘You’re sharing our supersecret occult ritual with the 12ftTall Lizards Disguised as Human Beings? Not. You can’t. It’s our, well, our thing, our secret handshake.’

   “Shhh. It’s ok. They won’t be 12fttall Lizards any more. Their swollen spleens will be removed or de-inflamed. The kissing the left little finger 8x will help them keep on the yellow brick path to recovery.”

   “Well,” Salma Nella groused, “ok, I guess. I liked having one exclusive thing. They had the Jesus blood-drinking, fleshing-eating thing; cathedrals; heavy bishops’ rings that clunk on your head at your first communion; psalm books; hymn books; stained glass windows. I wanted some gear, some paraphernalia, a hash pipe equivalent or two. But at least our Kiss8 secret. Dammit all, Myrth.” Salma glared. “Oh, ok, go ahead and spill the bloody beans.” 

   “Here goes, ClownSchool InterD clownfants. Kiss8.”

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6-22-05 2:01:23a.pdt.us  8 Alligator . Imix .Turtle tzol 31  tueswed

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