<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />New Orleans Residents: God's Mercy Evident in Katrina's Wake
By Jody Brown and Allie Martin with pogblog's gloss & apologies
September 2, 2005 & September 8, 2005
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(AgapePress) – Two Christian leaders in New Orleans are testifying to God's mercy [God’s great mercy was clear to me all along too] in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. One suggests that the death toll could have been much higher had it not been for [good ole] God's mercy [He could have arranged for nobody to die hideously, not even the vehicularly challenged, stricken poor, but, well, He didn’t] — and the other that God may have used the hurricane to purge wickedness from the city. [Purging is good. Definite. Terminal. No one wants a God who maybe wishes, maybe washes. Tire-iron between the eyes like Katrina – that’s the kind of Decisiveness we desire in a Deity.]
Chuck Kelley is president of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, with facilities located near the southern banks of Lake Pontchartrain and in Chalmette, east of the city. Baptist Press reports that Kelley now finds himself homeless and with only a few personal belongings following Hurricane Katrina's devastating blow to the New Orleans area. But the seminary leader says he is able to discern [like those special 3D, Deity-D glasses?] God's hand [maybe the left Hand didn’t know what the right Hand was doing?] in the situation.
“Imagine what would have happened if New Orleans had taken a direct hit [instead of Biloxi which God loves less],” he tells BP. “The levee did not break until after the storm was clear and the winds had died down and the rescue workers were able to get out.” Had the levee given way during the hurricane, he says, “untold thousands of people [instead of told thousands of people]” would have been killed. [I may be delusional, — being fond of you is clearly delusional – but I am not DELUSIONAL. The tormented calculations these folks have to do to preserve their DELUSIONS is fascinating if odious.]
“It's a terrible tragedy [perpetrated by merciful God tho?],” Kelley says of the devastation in and around New Orleans, “and we still don't know the scope of it — but the evidences [through sewage darkly, perhaps?] of God's [sewage-strewn] mercy are there. We rejoice [Rejoice? Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Hurricane, He has trampled down the levees and loosed His terrible swift sewage?], in the fact that He has got the whole world in His hands [Wish He’d quit making a Fist], including the city of New Orleans and the seminary.”
Kelley's faith, despite his personal situation, remains steadfast. He explains to Baptist Press that he is confident of God's provision. “When we get to the end of this story,” he says, “the last paragraph [What is this ‘waiting thing’ exactly? The good news couldn't come in the second paragraph?] is going to be a testimony to the greatness and glory of our God, who is able to do all things well [especially sewage], and able to provide every [except at the SuperDome & the Convention Center, I guess – Satan musta disguised those up with christianonite] need.”
Rev. Bill Shanks, [a Real Piece of Work – no Namby-Pampy Pussy-Footer he], pastor of New Covenant Fellowship of New Orleans, also sees God's mercy [Go, God!] in the aftermath of Katrina — but in a different way. Shanks says the hurricane has wiped out much [Why not all of it? Just asking.] of the rampant sin common to the city. [Being God, He couldn’t have done this with mercifully Less Sewage abounding? Amazing Sewage, how unsweet the stench ..]
Rev. Shanks explains that for years [See, they had time to Mend Their Ways, those crafty witches et sin-ridden al – nice God didn’t just spring this on them – they had their chances] that he, Rev Shanks, has warned people that unless Christians in New Orleans took a strong stand against such things as local abortion clinics, the yearly Mardi Gras celebrations, and the annual event known as “Southern Decadence” — an annual six-day “gay pride” [God does not like gay people and this cleansing hurricane proves it. All those dead babies would have grown up to be gay unless they had been mercifully spared that horrible fate by nice God who loves all his flock — minus the gay people] event scheduled to be hosted by the city this week — God's judgment would be felt. [Well, they all got theirs, didn’t they! Well done, God!]
“New Orleans now is abortion free. New Orleans now is Mardi Gras free. New Orleans now is free of Southern Decadence and the sodomites, the witchcraft workers, false religion — it's free of all of those things now,” Shanks says. “God simply, I believe, in His mercy purged all of that stuff out of there — and now we're going to start over again.”
The New Orleans pastor is adamant. Christians, he says, need to confront sin. “It's time for us to stand up against wickedness so that God won't have to deal with that wickedness,” he says.
Believers, he says, are God's “authorized representatives [franchisees?] on the face of the Earth” and should say they “don't want unrighteous men in office,” for example. In addition, he says Christians should not hesitate to voice their opinions about such things as abortion, prayer, and homosexual marriage. “We don't want a Supreme Court that is going to say it's all right to kill little boys and girls [except in Iraq], … it's all right to take prayer [& I, Rev Shanks, prayed for the slow and horrible deaths of as many sinners as possible and did God answer my prayers or WHAT!? It shows what the Lord Jesus and his Dad, God, can do when They really put Their Minds to it.] out of schools, and it's all right to legalize sodomy, opening the door [or breaching the levees?] for same-sex marriage and all of that.”
Shanks heeded warnings to evacuate New Orleans, and is currently staying with friends [Wouldn’t it be fun to have Thanksgiving dinner with all these folks?] in the Jackson, Mississippi, area.
© 2005 AgapePress all rights reserved
[except the freedom from satire to which there is never a right]
[Thank whatever stars amuse you that you don’t have to live inside a brain like these authorized representatives writhe within. No wonder there is only one joke in the bible.]
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for the unvarnished article:
http://headlines.agapepress.org/archive/9/22005b.asp
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So assuming some of these mass death incidents are the beginning of the rapture, does anyone wonder why these guys always get left behind?
sorry to jump in again Mr. Pogblog. It seems to me that Mardi Gras has religious significance and is based strongly in Catholic custom as a Lent thing….Do they even know that they're condemning something that has Christian roots?
Always honored to have you jump in, chancelucky.
I am just flayed by the unkindness of these folks. If the price of Religion is to condemn every one who doesn't Name your Deity, I'm skipping Religion entirely and eating keylime pie as a holy act instead — tastier than the flesh or the blood of poor Lord Jesus who must get sick of getting snacked on.