Ask Dr. Druid . Day 45 . What's the Euphemism for Screaming?

   Ask Dr. Druid . Day 45

What’s the Euphemism for Screaming?


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   Next time you hear the phrase 'collateral damage,' I want you to leap up out of your chair and start screaming.

   Too boat-rocking for you? Too impolite? People will question your sanity? Your urbanity?

   You get to scream. The dead are very quiet. Perfectly polite. Perfectly polite are the collaterally damaged. You get to scream the scream they can not.

   Doing what’s right ain’t comfortable, ain’t polite. Solidarity of the living. The civil right to remain unmaimed.  

    Well, if every damn one of us leapt up and started screaming any time we heard some obscene mealy-mouthed insane euphemism like collateral damage, may be we could make a dent in their denial systems that lead to mutilated children – not collateral damage – children mutilated.

   There came a time when you had to say, “No, you can’t say ‘nigger,’ it’s wrong, it’s evil, and I won’t stand for it.” Now many a cocktail party in the early ‘50s was ruined by someone boat-rockingly, impolitely, finally, speaking up, speaking out.

   Living is a civil right. War is the last insane bastion of the double-speakers, the lunatic justifiers. War is state-sanctioned murder. War is state-sanctioned mass murder. Ohmygods, the ‘m’ word! Murder.

    As a planet we must pick a day – 9.5.05 would be good enough. Before that day all of history people were blind, do not blame them. Move on past the past. Til that hour they have an amnesty.

    After that day call it what it is. Killing is killing. Dead is dead. Murder is murder is murder.

   We do this telling of the whole truth now on 9.5. Or some other day, some other year, some other century. The abolition of war can be delayed but it does occur. The sooner, the sooner we can look our species in the mirror and bear it. The abolition of war, the pro-peace world, begins today with you.




     Professor Quetzal said, “We better enlist our readers in the National Child Mutilator Registry campaign. Child Molestation is self-evidently grotesque. Children should be left to cheerful, raucous abandon without fear of being furtively pawed by some cretinous aging drooler.

    “However, one-to-one in seriously sick from the ethical perspective is the Child Mutilator. Until our Leaders and their Fervent Followers, the Killer 12ftTall Lizards in Human Disguise are mellowed, for our own protection we must have a National Child Mutilator Registry. If you have mutilated a child or mafially contracted to have a child mutilated on your behalf, we need to know so we can keep our uninfected cheerful clown children from your virulently contagious influences. At least until we develop the vaccine. Sadly, many of your diseases are hot-airborne. We do not want our delightstruck clown children paralyzed and disfigured by the viro-botulisms of your creeds and greeds.

    “You cry, ‘It’s in a good cause, these wars!’ The mutilation of a child can not be in a good cause, ipso facto. Child molestation is supremely disgusting, but if you can go one boschian rung lower on the ladder of ice down into cold Hell, Child Mutilation is one re-eat your-own-vomit degree of more sickening.

    “At least the Child Molester has to be faced with his own disfigured self-loathing in the mirror every morning when he shaves.”

      The Blue interrupted, “Unless he’s a taliban child molester who never shaves.”

    “Goaaal!” said Salma Nella whose hatred of religiopatrio chest-thumping hypocrisies was ivory – 99.666% pure.

    Quetzal smiled that smile to which Myrth was addicted. For the sake of the joke he had to maintain a deadpan, but with the faintest northernlights of extra glow in the aura around his face and an extra burnish of the mischief in his brown eyes, Quetzal nodded the wry nod.

    “The Child Mutilator wants some anodyne Layers of Denial between him:or:her and the brain-exploding acts they are allowing in their name. The mafia does contract hits so the blood-splatter evidence is on someone else’s cheap suit. But the Mutilated-Children karmic score goes in your column, pilgrim, by not one digit less. A child:mutilation is a child:mutilation is a child:mutilation. You can’t pretty it up unless you’re depraved or insane.

    “If I have to live next door to someone willing to call child-mutilating collateral damage, I want to know. Collateral? Damage?

    “If you in your hometown take a grenade and throw it at a child or mow them down with an M16UziAK47, you go to jail, get battered with outrage and shunning, get wired up in the fry chair and e-lek-tro-cuted. If the mutilated child is exactly the same End, but your Means is a noble son dropping a bomb from 10,000 ft or mowin’ ’em down with the M16UziAK47, you get parades, holidays, and sousa music? You do go to Karmic Jail, and it’s a profound security prison, let me tell you, and that is a faint solace for us. If you had to touch them as they died; if you had to push their wheel chair; if you had to look over their shoulder into the same mirror as them as they have to see every day that they’ll never be pretty again; if you had to sit with them as they watch unmutilated kids play basketball or soccer. The jury that judges you is dead children, pilgrim, mutilated children. Not the protoplasmic jelly in the womb you so luridly defend, but the once-leaping, once-laughing, once-hopscotching whose hullabaloo and delicious lives you spindled, mutilated, folded, and collateralized.”


Ask Dr. Druid, 66 Days from Lead to Gold, Secrets of  Alchemy You Can Use, a druid shaman’s playbook .. Intro; Prologue; Day 1; Days 2 & 3; Day 4; Day 5; Day 6; Day 7; Day 8; Day 9; Day 10; Day 11; Day 12; Day 13; Day 14; day 15 Review 2; Day 16; Day 17; Day 18; Day 19; Day 20; Day 21; Day 22; Day 23; Day 24; Day 25; Day 26; Day 27; Day 28; Day 29; Day 30; Day 31; Day 32; Day 33; Day 34; Day 35; Day 36; Day 37; [Day 38]; Day 39; Day 40; Day 41; Day 42; Day 43; Day 44; Day 45;


If you know or are an agent, aspiring agent, editor, or publisher person who would handle this kind of druid material, please let me know at .. Please put ‘agent’ in the subject line.


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2 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Druid . Day 45 . What's the Euphemism for Screaming?

  1. Which is probably why they're letting us see so little of the current war. No pictures of coffins, no views of Iraq itself, just photos of troops lined up inside the green zone all the time.

  2. I like Abbie Hoffman's notion that if we had to eat what we kill, wars would stop at once.
    Otherwise we should see the corpses of kids and the unvarnished Walter Reed night after night til we get over this atrocious “noble' garbage.

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