Prez Dunce felled by Sir Colbert

Prez Dunce felled by Sir Colbert


   Across the kingdom, the maidens cry, “ Sir surColbert is rare, is fair. We care!”

   Prezident Dunce squats leeringly over the Land loosing bolts of Dunce Flatulence like bulletins from the bowels, messages from the Dunce Gut, smoke signals from .. well, you know. They blundered, then they plundered, and the Land lay bereft, baffled, its noble name besmirched, flagrantly befouled.

   Unarmored but not unarmed, our champion, Sir Stephen surColbert, in the face of the most damnable danger, stood his ground, stood our ground. It was sursurreal.

   Calling upon the shade of Sir GoodLuck Murrow, Sir surColbert des Ouefs with mad aplomb sent forth his shafts to smote Prez Dunce who was so deep in fell falsehoods that he looked utterly besmattered, completely encrusted with the droppings of the great leathery-winged DownRightLiesOndor Bird.

   As tiny a target as was the small hard little heart and narrow mind of Prez Dunce, these precious shafts tipped with curare-grade Irony sped to fiercely pierce the bloated hubris and rot of contumely (the telltale thin-lipped sneer) to snick him where he lived, to draw his thin, mucus-colored blood.

   Brave brave Sir surColbert lanced the disgusting National Boil, an operation that took <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />23:48. 23 seconds & 48 seconds. Blessings be showered upon you like a golden rain, citizen Colbert. 


   BC indeed, Before Colbert. After 4/29, after then we were never the same again. It wasn’t a sword what freed us, it was The Word.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /> 

'He stands on things, air craft carriers, rubble, recently-flooded city squares; Stand on banks of computers & send men into battle;14 black bulletproof SUVs; mesquite-powered car; Monday Wednesday, Tuesday; glass 2/3 empty; 68% approve of the job you’re not doing; Doubting Thomas; Eat salad with a spoon; Don’t let generals retire; shoot me in the face; Intrepid reporter book =  fiction. He stands on things, America’s crises resolved by the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.’ Words won. ’Twas words what won. Not gun powder, but wit powder.   Fractal entendre. Obsidian humor.


   Against Irony, the Secret Service had no plan nor guard. Sir surColbert was the sleekest stealthiest of all possible moles – an invited dinner guest for all national tv to see. At the head table eating what? chicken breast (oh immortal fowl)? raspberry sorbet? haute chic no doubt. Who knew that in moments, the comic magnetic field, the Irony core of Earth, would flip poles?



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7 Serpent . Chicchan . East . tzolkin 83  05.12.06 fri

984 days/2y8m08d left




the education-obsessed world begins today with you ..

.. let’s spend the $820,000 per minute Military Budget on education instead


3 thoughts on “Prez Dunce felled by Sir Colbert

  1. First re fractal entendring Sir Stephen, relics of him (toenail clippings, locks of hair, more seed, & etc) should be auctioned off to boost the coffers of the Democratic party for voter energizing action starting June 01. And Sir surColbert ought be bronzed and placed lifesize in every town square (previously flooded or not . .) in the USofA.
    For the rest of we hoi polloi, the forelock tuggers, we should each buy a miniature Sir Stephen statuette to donate to Voter Energizing. And if you can't find the statuette, donate $10 (or more) per month to the DNC or MoveOn or Mainstreet Moms some other voter contact project. I am laid off & impoverished, but I can manage $10 bucks a month–which I'll escalate as the summer goes on no doubt.
    Think subpoena power. Not for impeachment which I think is a distraction, but for the Bloody Truth which our savaged democracy needs to KNOW to be salvaged. I am ashamed of my country (torturing people — ye gods; spending $820,000 per minute on the Military Budget + another $200,000 per minute on Iraq?! etc etc) and I want us to come clean and get humble and start anew to build the respect our noble experiment once engendered.
    Either join an online phonebank (MoveOn or MainStreet Moms – I do both) to clean up voter lists and greet Democrats so they know how much their vote counts. (I use the line, 'Kennedy beat Nixon by one vote per precinct.') You can use your extra long-distance cell phone minutes on weekends. Or rent a trunk line for $50-ish bucks a month starting in September.
    I'm trying to get this phoning started earlier so we can simply get rid of the Moveds & Wrong Numbers, the deadwood of the Lists.) Or if you're in a key state, walk precincts.
    MMOB (Mainstreet Moms) had a letter-writing to young single moms in key states last time. I say 'I'm writing from California where my vote means nothing– you're voting for both of us!' I say the same thing on the phone when I'm phoning out of state.
    You are NOT changing minds!!! You are IDing your voters and energizing them to vote. Do not waste your time trying to convince some surly old buzzard that s/he is wrong. First, you never will, and second, you just give him/her energy. Always remain studiously polite and get out of the call or contact immediately and graciously. Kill 'em with kindness! You swear or get cranky and they win.
    Sign up yourself for permanent absentee voting and get all your friends to vote permanent absentee. IF you think you must have the ritual of going to the polls, do what I do & vote absentee so your vote is on paper and definitely in, then go to the polling place on election day to thank the poll workers. (Best of both worlds.)
    Make sure all your friends and every Democrat you speak to KNOWS that they can vote only for the key candidate and do not need to vote for anything else if they don't want to!!!! Many (smart) voters actually think that they have to vote on everything or it won't 'count.' I always make this point on the phone too.
    You're welcome to copy and paste this to your email list.

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