Pls note that in the following Ode to Intestines, ‘intestines’ is always pronounced ‘in-tes-tie-ns.’ The second 'i' is long. Droller.

Ode to Intestines

   We’re all intestine-casings, nada mas, nada menos – ICs, that’s we. Fancyish perhaps, but intestine-casings nonetheless. So there’s not so much to get huffed up + puffed up about. Intestine cases, crawling, winging, galloping, strolling, hopping, slinking, finning, tangoing – it’s all a fancy dress ball for the kissable, &, for most, the not-so-kissable ends of the churning, peristalsizing digestive tract.

   None of your strutting and eyelash fluttering, lust-thrusting, bombast-delivering-forth would be vouchsafed thee, pilgrim, without the ceaseless and diligent squishing and dissolving, sucking and glucking of your brilliant intestines. You couldn't figure out how to get your Mona Lisa or Mano Louis smile out of a chomped turnip end and a licked strawberry ice cream cone. You dumb, intestines smart.

   If you waltzed into the finest Chemistry Lab on Earth – some MIT equiv – with a bucket full of carelessly ground smorgasbord slop  – steak, peas, caramelized onions, 4-crème brie, argula, chocolate pecan pie, brandy mimosa – and gave a pint of it to the previously puffed-up, white-coated, erudite Lord of the Universe chemist and demanded s/he extract the constituent nutrients in an hour &1/2 to pearl forth Einstein’s Theory of Relativity or a design for a better skateboard or my uselessly clever heartbreaking poems to you – piffle, s/he is baffled. Compared to intestines, s/he is a lousy chemist and a lousier alchemist. Intestines rule. Do your intestines proud.

   I know it is less romantic, less picturesque to imagine yourself a Mobile Intestine Unit, but evolved or intelligently designed, even in a scarlet sequined ballgown or a denim workshirt and beat up <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags” />Levis, you’re still a Mobile Intestine Unit. You may be a fine Intestine Casing, but preening is perhaps a tad unseemly?

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the education-obsessed world begins today with you ..

.. let’s spend the $820,000 per minute Military Budget on education instead

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